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The son is not good, who is to blame? 子不教,谁之过?





We've talked about the importance of self-discipline in the previous news, so now I'm going to talk about the question that many parents are concerned about, "Why is my child lacking self-discipline?"

The lack of self-discipline in children is not entirely due to poor parenting. In fact, most Chinese parents routinely discipline their children with harsh reprimands and corporal punishment, but such education can only play a negative role. Parents are children's first teachers and role models for children to learn from. If parents do not do well themselves, it is impossible for their children to do well. Some parents often tell their children: "You don't care what I do, you just do as I say!" They let their children listen to their own words, but they smoke and drink in front of their children, get drunk, swear, punch and kick. add up. These parents do not have the least self-control, dignity, and rationality of an elder: they don't pay attention to their behavior, they look sloppy, they cheat and treachery. These parents live without self-discipline, yet force their children to lead positive, orderly lives, with predictable results. If a father beats his child's mother every day, what's the point of punishing her brother for bullying her younger sister? How can you expect a child to listen to her?

For children, parents are the objects of their imitation, and they will fully accept their parents' words, deeds and handling methods. So accordingly, if parents know self-discipline, self-control, and self-esteem, their daily life is orderly, and they can be calm when they encounter problems, then children will take such a life for granted.

In addition to the parents themselves, there is a very important point that parents need to give their children enough love. Many parents may say, "Of course, I love my children! I provide food and drink, isn't that enough?" But what I want to say is that this kind of love alone is true is not enough. If we love something, we spend time appreciating it, understanding it and caring for it. It's like, an old man who loves gardening, he takes the time to figure out the difference in each plant he grows and waters, fertilizes, prunes, deworms, grafts, transplants according to their differences. In the same way, parents' love for their children is the same. Not only do they need to spend time and energy with their children, but more importantly, they need to learn relevant content (such as child or adolescent psychology) in order to know their children's problems and find the most suitable method for them.

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